she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
