Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
