remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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