ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
