Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
