Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
