somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
