I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
