apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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