The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
