I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
