Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
