I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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