I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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