All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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