My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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