i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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