If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
