I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
