I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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