adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
