can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
