We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
