yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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