I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
