What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
