I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
