Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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