my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
