Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
