that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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