What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
