Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
