just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
