people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
