I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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