And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My vagina is officially offended.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
