I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
