No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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