Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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(905): View more from Toronto

My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(305): View more from Florida

Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.

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(386): View more from Florida

my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.

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