love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
