every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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