This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
