i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
