i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
