So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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