Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
