I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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