How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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