Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
